I turned on the radio, switched it off, tried to read the old books I had read before. When I found I couldn't hold my attention on one book, I tried another. Scarcely ten minutes passed.
I picked up the first book again and put it down again.
I sat very still, trying not to think.
It seemed as if I was waiting for something, I wasn't sure what.
Something that would lift the tension and make me feel better, though I could imagine no possible event in the past, present, or future, that would have either effect.
It seemed as if an eternity has passed.
I was struck by a horrible thought: Is this what its like? Is this the way it's going to be from now on?
