Christmas. Is it. Over. yet?

I wish it has. At least, would be soon.

Though it is still a few weeks ahead but I have been attacked with stupid emotional Tsunami. I have been staying on my own for more than 8 years now, in some sense. I mean, yeah, I had stayed 6 years or more in a rooming house in Medan during my univ years and a bit longer after my graduation. I had stayed at Al’s place along with a few others for some time, though most of the time I played the role of on-my-own. At least, I can jump into someone else’s room or run into a friend’s house if the day has been a deadpan. I had never had spent special occasion such Christmas completely on my own, far away from anyone I know.

And this time, it is the only possibility.

I cannot afford the flight to Medan and a nine-hour-bus drive to my hometown. And I don’t have a well acquaintance in Bali. I had only visited Orlando and he’ll be away for Christmas.

Another never-met-yet friend is kind of gave me a cold shoulder, or, maybe he simply doesn’t feel like taking some time for a meet up for whatever reasons [which I highly respect.]

The housemates are Moslems. Well, one of them is Christian, a dark complexioned man a couple of years older than me who loves his privacy THAT much. I can only see him in the morning if I wake up early to see him prepare himself and his motorcycle for work. I don’t even know his name. He shed/covers his windows with plain cream sheet and his door is hardly open, except if he want to take a dump or leak or shower.

Besides, there’s nothing much to do if I can get some of his time.

I was thinking of aggressively find new friends [online—initially] so I will have someplace, someone, some people, to spend the Christmas with. Choosing people at random publicly sounds irrational.

And Denpasar is far from any Christian element. It is Hindu-ish and there’s nothing wrong with that, for sure.

And my damp barren room which I prefer to call Bunker is not a good refuge for comfort at all.

It is sad, really. Thinking about it gives me a pain in my stomach, makes me more uneasy and sick staying at the rooming house. I just finished the book and now I wonder what else can become a significant distraction to kill the time with while waiting on any job interview and job contract.