We do not even know ourselves; Therefore, why should we judge a neighbor? No one knows what makes a man, and only God knows his thoughts, his joys, his bitterness, his agony, the injustices committed against him and the injustices he commits. All lives, whether in good or in error, painful or happy, are only a prologue to love beyond the grave, where all is understood and almost all forgiven.
-Seneca-
It's, indeed, an eye-opening fact. A turning point in my life when I finally admit I haven't been letting go the past...the bitterness I falsely told myself I've forgotten...pretended that I came at peace with everything...leaved alone the old grudge and disappointments.
I realized I had not totally let go the failed love I had had shamelessly nurtured. I realized I had dragged the bitterness of injustices the one I had loved committed against me, the hidden truth he had kept from me, the selfish decisions he had made behind my back even from the beginning of our short-lived relationship. I thought I had forgiven him, totally.
Now I realize I should stop seeing the heart of the matters from the angle of disappointment and overcautious heart. I perfectly know I cannot blindingly label everyone with the same unfairness. I'm trying to trust people...trying to let them invading my long-kept privacy and taking some parts in my life. I'm learning how to walk again, to show not only myself but also the rest of you that passion and sincerity count the most.
Trying to differ the wrong and confused.
Life is limited but happiness is in abundance even in the worst situation. And I'm still learning. 26 going 27, I'm more than aware that I missed lots of chances in the past to make things right and I have no much time to set the right decisions and put things back together.
I wanna thank Heino & Sjoerd, Louis Labrecque, Servaas, Zack, Jay G [whose tracks I cannot find anyomore] To Jerry Fetterly, Tony Philips, Luigino Riccus, Orlando, Tanyo Sertev, Ricky Hughes, Alistair, Green, Lamro, EI Lamjamot, Hotman Panjaitan, Nurhayati, Linda, Yan.
Thanks to Mom, Renata and Nenny Silaban.
Thanks to all of you for being who you are, my precious beloved ones. You have helped me to be who i am today.
It's, indeed, an eye-opening fact. A turning point in my life when I finally admit I haven't been letting go the past...the bitterness I falsely told myself I've forgotten...pretended that I came at peace with everything...leaved alone the old grudge and disappointments.
I realized I had not totally let go the failed love I had had shamelessly nurtured. I realized I had dragged the bitterness of injustices the one I had loved committed against me, the hidden truth he had kept from me, the selfish decisions he had made behind my back even from the beginning of our short-lived relationship. I thought I had forgiven him, totally.
Now I realize I should stop seeing the heart of the matters from the angle of disappointment and overcautious heart. I perfectly know I cannot blindingly label everyone with the same unfairness. I'm trying to trust people...trying to let them invading my long-kept privacy and taking some parts in my life. I'm learning how to walk again, to show not only myself but also the rest of you that passion and sincerity count the most.
Trying to differ the wrong and confused.
Life is limited but happiness is in abundance even in the worst situation. And I'm still learning. 26 going 27, I'm more than aware that I missed lots of chances in the past to make things right and I have no much time to set the right decisions and put things back together.
I wanna thank Heino & Sjoerd, Louis Labrecque, Servaas, Zack, Jay G [whose tracks I cannot find anyomore] To Jerry Fetterly, Tony Philips, Luigino Riccus, Orlando, Tanyo Sertev, Ricky Hughes, Alistair, Green, Lamro, EI Lamjamot, Hotman Panjaitan, Nurhayati, Linda, Yan.
Thanks to Mom, Renata and Nenny Silaban.
Thanks to all of you for being who you are, my precious beloved ones. You have helped me to be who i am today.
