After completed my last few torturously boring hours at work yesterday afternoon, I ran upstairs and literally dressed up for the cable-something meeting/discussion panel/seminar which name neither of me nor Ellie knew.
And dressed up means put on my rare-to-wear shirt and dark brown pants and boots with socks inside and a few spray of perfume i only use when i want to feel sexy, which is, like i said, only on rare occassion (excuse my poor pronounciation and spelling.)
4.30 pm we were supposed to be there and we managed to be physically arrived five or six meters from the hotel's front gate at 4. 30, my breath was ok after a quick brush and oh-you-look-good-indeed! from Ellie helped me alot to walk up straight and ignore how tight the pants that it felt as if i was wearing a black Hose a compliment from Ellen DeGeneres.And that blue long-sleeved felt funny in my skin since it'd been 'stocked' in my closet since i'd quit from the Citibank.
A short woman trapped in her sloppy loose blue jeans and stripes tee shirt with five-years-riding-in-a-motorbike hair approached us as we sat down on the lobby when Ellie started talked her mouth about how she wanted to spend a nite in Singapore and to spend some time staring up at the infamous Merlion, "Xcuse me, are you invited?" she Halo-ed us, "for the meeting, rite?"
We nodded and she asked our names and here comes the funny little much anticipated part,"When they asks your profession, name one of those Middle-to-High-Class job, understand?"
Ellie had a hard time to pick what she runs for business, "Sorry, we've had many Boutiqe owners in the previous session," the dark skinned woman protests, "we need di-ver-si-ty."
Ellie ended up running a boutiqe because she made this funny confused look when the wifey who sat next to us suggested Food Catering Business. Me? Don't try to make me laugh.
"Age?" She asked Ellie first, "No, no. We got too many 26-year-old attendees."
Ellie was corrupted her age and became one year older while I had to memorize my one-line weapon, "Hi, I'm Jerry and I'm (so fricking) 28 years old." I felt as if i was in a Bourbon Mood when I heard myself. With this face, you're not kidding anyone!
Two civil servant women who sat three and a half meters across our seats were sent home because, well, they lazily dragged their dark green skirts instead of put on any casual pants or simply zebra underpants.
"They want some Chinese attendee," the woman who invited us whined, "I've gotta find another damn chine-esh!" Thanks to the quick witted widower-in-the-funeral looked Chinese woman who arrived after both of the civil servant were gone. So, the Chinese woman made sat on the corner of the lobby, speak Chinglish--Chinese English which sound more like the frying half-done scrambled egg.
6 pm and we were still waiting for our session to kick off. We were handed 6-page-questionaire that tried to make us made guilty confession of what and how many electronic appliances do we personally have and how often we go to the mall/plaza and for what purpose, how addicted are we to TV Cable and are we have intellectual taste for TV. Here's my answers which I paraphrased:
The Truth
iPod None
DVD Played Yes; 1--belongs to Al
Digital Camera None
Camcorder None
LCD TV None None
Plasma TV None
High Speed Net None
MP3 Player None
Laptop None
But they only wanted to read what they wanted to read so I half-heartedly wrote down The Big Fat Lie, labelled most of the appliances as SONY.
The answer to how often and for what purpose I go to mall in a week, I wrote twice a week for my compulsory buying habit and much less necessary things/needs.
Cable channels I watch? Instead of admitting I only watched CNN during Sarah Palin Quest, I put it as the rank No.1, followed by BBC, Nat Geo while in reality I only watch CNN when I happen to catch whathisname Italian anchorman whose smiles I like and indulge myself into TV series I hardly follow like Greek, the Ghost Wishperer, and some more junks on Star World and Nick and Cartoon Network.
I felt sick to my stomach when I've had to repeat my answers during the Impress Us discussion panel which soon we found out called Vision Research from one of TV Cable companies whose name so Chinese to most of the attendees, "What? Never heard that! We're familiar with their phone and internet sister companies," a man frowned.
"They have Cable TV?" the Wifey commented.
"I bet they only air ads from their company groups," joked another man who looked enjoyed the snacks on the table, i noticed most of the things're gone except the plate of chips none bothered to sink their hands into. The self-acclaimed married 26-year-old Chinese woman next to me hardly let out any noticable comments, she sat up straight like one of those Interviewed missus Brain Beauty Behavior Finalists In Their Night Gowns with Fake Smiles.
When she was asked what channel she likes the most, she led us into five minutes solemnity and then proudly acclaimed, "I dont like watching TV."
The other Veiled Smiley Always Wishpers On Her Phone Woman made it worse by saying, "I dont have access to Cable TV but my married brother next door has one. It's two months old now."
I really wanted to laugh my ass off and like, "Where the hell are you from? They (company) are expecting to meet Cable TV subsscribers/Addicts!!"
Then it was my turn to answer smart-ass-ed-ly:
"I subscribe to Indovision" (which is slightly true but Al pays for it now and puts it into the living room.)
What're your hobbies?
I was going to say Singing? But no. "I love soccer (Liar! Not even watch it,) and love traveling "(true but hardly do it.)
Ah, where do you travel?
"Beaches."(I truly said that in English which sounds more like Bitches--though we were generally speaking Bahasa Indonesia most of the time.) "I usually set up a group trip with some friend from univ years, "I gave more seriously fake story, I said convincingly and tried my best not too look at ellie or I'd burst into laughters, "It's, um, annual thing, anyway."
The conversation went on and on until i figured out this interviewer absolutely HAD NO IDEA about Satellite TV and knows less than Five graders who watch Nick at Nite.
"Okay, maybe we should ask others' opinions because it seems that you are more than an expert in here," she stabbed me in my forehead simply because I dominated the conversation with my Martin Luther Sermon About Satellite TV and Stuffs and added more personal views on this, literally outdo her wits and so-called knowledge. She hated me for sure though she let out her crispy laughters sometimes.
The whatevertheycallit interview/dialoque/FAQ which started late at 7 finally was about to finish when she went to her Secret Chamber each time she handed out the glossy paper of their Cable TV Packages. Again, I bitched too much she'd had to ask each person in circle the very same question and the answer were monogamos: "We hate expensive offers." In short, eventhough she tried to bribe us with a goodie bag of a CD pouch + weird thing looked like BlackBerry case only it is extremely small for it + a pen which broke as soon as I tried to see what kind of stuff it has inside + cold meal with stale fried chicken and rice, we made unanimous impression, we'd stick to our current Pay TV company. Shame on them, and I feel sorry for some reason, but mostly for their ridiculous package offers to the mass market.
The good thing came in the end after the handshake and Oh-You-Have-Facebook-Account?!: The plain white envelope with 150.000 inside. Bless you, sister!
I got back home with a lil nailing headache in the back of my head, it was 10.30 pm and i was starving, ate the cold meal in the room with a short grateful prayer which I'd never done in ages," Thanks for the tips money, you know. Amen."
No, I couldnt sleep. So, I stayed awake until 3 in the morning with Facebook in the screen, attending my Farm Town game, Ignored the Ready To Harvest Apple Trees and stuffs.
And now, I'm working the 4pm-11pm shift since Nur, the ex worker re-hired to replace Ellie who works in the morning shift. Everything's fine except my growling stomach. Will grab/buy somethhing to eat now.
