When you find yourself in a middle of your own dream and is like, "Dude, I am dreaming!"
And it is a bit more worse when you even said to yourself--in your dream, "Seriously dude, this guy is so dead years ago!"
I'm talking about my late dad.
The alarm had screamed its filthy mouth but I decided whole-heartedly in such great enthusiasm: Hell with it, I'm sleeping." And that how I ended up dreaming.
Dad, I just knew it was him, the guywho walks next to me on our way somehwhere I dunno, we talk or I listen to him saying something and I am like nodding all the way until I look down at one of my feet--I cant remember which one--looks beyond horrible, then I'm screamin and kickin as if I could get rid of the disgusting foot.
This is my first dream where late dad was there, and dead. My first dream about him since his funeral years ago while Nenny, my second older sister had two library rooms of dreams recollections, just like mom.
For a while, I felt so psychi-que, even when I stod absent-mindedly on the roadside this morning waiting for the hard-to-find bus no.06, "This is ain't cool, is he mad at me even when he's dead?"
Well, maybe he definitely is.
I personally am against talking-to-a-deathbed tradition in any given circumstances. I dont talk to the grave yard that I just weeded out the tall hard-to-pull grass.
"Now, it's your turn to wash your face," mom would say when we visit the cemetery, "and also your hands."
We do that above the Dad's earthbed which simbolyze something like you are soothing yourself and him?
And here comes the talk-your-heart-out session when everyone has got to say something/anything/everything to him/his tombstone, "i'll pass," I'd say, or, "I've spoken to him personally while one of you was talking."
And everyone will gave me THAT look and we'd go home.
If he were mad at me then I dont appreciate a nightmare, no, thank you very much, sir. A message in a bottle, or, a text on the TV screen while I stare blankly at it would work the best.
Oddly enough, i'm feeling kind of secured whatsoever, or is it because I'm lack of sensitivity? Amen for that.
